That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize