i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
