Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
