it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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