You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
