That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
