If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Less talking, more tequila
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize