I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
