Define "chronic" masturbator.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
BRING THE BAGELS
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
