When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize