well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
