I could have mohawked her pubes.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
