Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
