i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
