I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
