All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
