we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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