so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
