Kiss
Puke
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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