we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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