After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
