That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
