sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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