I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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