If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
