margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
50% drunk capacity currently
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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