lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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