coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
