I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
