I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
