so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize