Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
