So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize