Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
