so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
