Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
These tits shall not be calmed
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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