so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
pray to the hookup gods
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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