Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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