idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
