It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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