what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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