i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
