Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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