You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
