So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
