i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Floor bacon is actually really good
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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