I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
as a side note pls kill me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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