the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
