What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
this is an emotional support booty call
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
