So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
