U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Drunk is a universal language darling
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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