Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
