i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize