Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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