can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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