chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
