apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
