your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
