K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
