Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Holy shit dude........stairs
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