Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
