I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
