I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
