omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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