This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ketchup is God's man juice
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Randomize
