never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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