You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
